The Prayer

I just launched the cover of "The Prayer", a short story I wrote.

Tomorrow, Nov. 5, 2013, the story will be available for .99 on Amazon. This is so exciting I can't tell you. Basically, we're practicing to get Merili published. And, I want to share my other work as well.

Please support me by sharing my posts and making comments. Reviews are also awesome.

Visit  Facebook and tomorrow-Amazon. Yeah!   facebook/amaracudneyauthor.com

I've posted the first 500 words of Merili's Wine on her facebook page. https://www.facebook.com/MerilisWine

I'd really like to hear what you all think. I'm looking for honest feedback.

And just a heads up I'm also looking for a cover designer and an editor. I'm laying this desire in God's hands and praying that I'm led to them and that they are led to me.

Have a great weekend.

Missing Merili

It's been almost three weeks since I visited Merili. I gave her my word that I'd stay away and let her rest. Do you think I'm crazy? I miss her so much. I can hardly wait to see her again next week.

It'll be time to do some editing, clean up some stuff and all that other housecleaning.

I want to send a special thanks out to Lizzie Ford, author of The Rhyn Series as well as the Witchling Series and many more books (available on Amazon). She gifted me with two books about digital publishing. I reading like crazy, hoping to be done by next week. My daughter told me about her and I wrote her on Facebook. She responded right away and then gave me the books.

This is going to be so much fun. Don't forget to go to meriliswine@facebook this weekend to check out the first 500 words. Let me know if you like it.

What does Merili want?

It is so true. I'm actually having anxiety about this. You see, last week I finished the book. Well, I finished the 2nd draft. It's no where near ready, but the meat of it is complete. So where do I go now?

Let me tell you. Everyone has an opinion. You'll never get it published. Digital's the way to go. E publishing's the way to go. Okay, Okay.

What I'm finding out is that when you're ready to take the next steps, there are tons of people that will help you. The important thing is to listen to your heart and listen to your protagonist. They've been your best friend for at least a year, right?

You do have to learn. I feel like I'm in graduate school. I spend about four hours a day just researching, learning, reading, and talking to people. Amazing things are happening. My daughter told me about an author, Lizzie Ford, and I Facebooked her. She wrote back and gifted me two books on e publishing. People are offering to help. It's the way we are no a days. A connected community.

This week, I'm learning how to twitter, make a web page, do Linkedin, create an author page, pick up this blog and how to let the process flow. I am so excited about how its all going to work out. I feel to deeply about this. Merili will find a way. Look for the first 500 words at meriliswine@facebook.com this coming weekend. And thanks for all of your support and friendship. It means the world to me.

What is the story about?

I signed up for a class on "Finding a Literary Agent" and was very excited. When the first assignment came, it was great. There were many questions on a questionnaire and I filled them all out and proudly sent them to the teacher.

The next week we got out second assignment. Write your query letter. It had directions, examples and all the tools you could ask for. I think I flunked. I sent in two query letters and neither one was really deemed as "great", but rather, keep trying, you'll get it."

I'm having so much trouble trying to tell you what Merili is about.

Merili, for me, is about a woman and those in her life, who get caught up in alcoholism, sex addiction and rage and each of them reaches a pivotal moment in their lives when they realize that they can't go on. The story unravels how each of them struggles with their addiction, their anger, their hurt and their losses and what that process looks like. We each might have ideas about why people get caught up in these impossible situations and wonder how did they ever get there? Wine is about those processes and how there's not always happy endings and that sometimes, there is loss and deep grief, but always an inner strength and a new way to live emerge as those that make it, those that don't die or end up in institutions, survive to find a new life with a deeper meaning.

That is really the story of Merili. It all started when I heard a woman say that her husband had spilled a glass of wine on her head and then went on to act as if that happened everyday. It hit me so hard that I started writing as soon as I got home. I thought it would be a short story. I'd never written a book in my whole life. Well, now I have. The story, long ago, veered away from this woman's tale. I see this woman occasionally and it's sad because her husband is still abusing her and she still drinks. I don't spend a lot of time with her, for one thing, its just a little too weird, and she travels back and forth from the island. I've moved on, I guess.

So, now I'm reading a ton of book descriptions on Amazon and perusing Publishers Marketplace everyday looking at the "deals". Guess what people?  Tons of books are still being published. Mine is just not "ripe" yet.

I actually decided I didn't like that agent. She really never helped me. See, here's the thing. There's a whole cottage industry that's come out of epublishing and digital publishing. Some of it is really great, but a lot of it isn't. Be careful what you get into. The same things could be available for free or close to it.

I wrote a book, now what

The Hungry Writer's Guide to Tracking and Capturing a Literary Agent

Query.doc.1
query.doc.2, etc.

How am I doing?
Can anybody see me?

What do you think?
Is it good enough?

Why am I doing this?
Is it good?

Okay, my darlings, what I'm starting to figure out, is that it is the "early bird that gets the worm", it is "the squeaky wheel that gets the oil"......

What matters, is that you keep going and going and going. I thought I  had climbed Mount Everest when I reached 47,000 words. Nope, just the foothill, I came to find out. You need at least 65,000 for anyone to take you serious.

Writing is hard, hard work. But its fun work. You get to see everything in life as a story. You get to ask yourself, how would I write about that or that? Would anyone believe me about that?

It really is doing the background check. Right now, I'm scrolling through 100's of agents on Publishers Marketplace finding out who is doing what and what they are doing. I'm getting to know them by their genre's and by the authors they represent.

Oh yeah, I guess I could have gotten Merili self-published, I still might, but for about the same amount of money, I'm learning so much. What can I say, I'm having a terrifyingly good time.

Your Search is Over.

The publisher for you is just a few clicks away. Right?

NOT!!!!!!!

How many books do you have to buy before you know what God wants for you?

Who's that guy?  He looks mean, and I'm scared of him. Amara, you're regressing, stop it. Okay, but is he an agent?

This is my title page and it's all over my office and my house. It's the cover for my book, Merili's Wine.

I had lunch with a woman several months ago and she told me a story, well, not a story story, but something that had happened in her life. I must have stared at her with my mouth wide open. After she dropped this deeply moving "bomb" on me, she simply continued eating her lettuce as though nothing were wrong.

I came home after that lunch knowing that I had to write about it. Little did I know that it wasn't just going to be a short story. I think I started in July and it's now March. I'm working on the second draft and I've started an online class on "How to Find a Literary Agent." I don't know where all of this will go, but I feel committed to my book and to the story. They say if you don't do anything, time passes. Might as well do something, you have nothing to lose. This story literally fell out of me.

There were days when I would finish writing and I'd go to see Sam and I felt like I would be frothing in my mouth. I was so esconsed in the character. At that time I had a coach and he suggested that I make an outline. That helped to create some space for me. The story still felt like it was falling out of me faster than I could write it. It literally took over my life.

Some days, I think I must just be filling time. I read my work and think, "what a mess". Other days tears fall down my cheeks as I read how Merili succumbs to Dan's brutality. Although this started out as  my friend's story, it has become a story of so many women, so many people.

Addiction and abuse go hand in hand and yet, its rarely talked about. Merili didn't mean to become an alcoholic, Lisa didn't mean to hit the little boy with her car, Dan didn't mean to punch Sarah, but it all happened. In AA they say the disease is "cunning, baffling, and powerful.

Stay tuned for my next blog to keep you up to date.